Nothing like coming home

For me there's nothing like coming home after a long day, locking myself in the kitchen with coffee and my laptop.

I don't know what's going on with people but recently it's like there's been something going around that makes everyone so pissed off about everything.
People at school are angry, teachers are angry, people on the street are furious and at risk of sounding like a crazy person I swear I can feel it in the air and in the environment


Ok, It does sound crazy, but seriously, it's sometimes like the air is filled with bad feelings. If I go downtown on a Saturday night and I can see everyone is pissed off and acting weird, I will go home, it's not fun when everyone is having some kind of hivemind anger fit.

This is why I like to lock myself in my room and not go out when I come home. It's a comfort to me knowing that I don't have to go outside and deal with people for the rest of the day.

I really hope I don't become agoraphobic because of this.

I've noticed this anger inside of me too. Today I'm having a hard time going on Facebook because what people are saying on there or posting is just pissing me off. (Even if it didn't piss me off when I read it 6 hours earlier) I want to post the most passive aggressive reply to the crap that people type, but I don't. I just continuously click 'hide story' until I don't have to look at dumb comments.

Zuckerburg, I love your hide story feature, without it, I would've most surely snapped.

I'm ill

I look and feel sick. See exhibit A. Ignore how awesomely hipster I look, I just downloaded instagram and it makes photos look cool.

I really, really hate getting sick, I have some kind of flu virus, and I was really hoping that this semester I wouldn't come down with some super-illness, but alas, 6 hours later I feel feverish and ill.

Being sick for me is a drag, like, a big drag, I become almost infant again, I loose all ability to care for myself and don't do much until I feel 100% again. It's my 2nd day of staying at home.

The dog upstairs keeps visiting us, and I've semi-adopted him, I let him out and feed him. I think our neighbor is in some kind of drug-coma, her dog is also super skinny, I kinda just want to steal him, or offer money for him, but I'll probably end up just calling the cops, feigning ignorance if I am confronted, and let it be at that.
I'm not sure though, I'm not sure if I have the ability to take of her, she's high maintenance and because she's barely allowed to leave the house she's high-energy and gets nippy, which scares me, but I do need to take some kind of action soon. I hate seeing animals suffer.
I'll see how it goes, but as it's nearing the 3rd day of not hearing anything from our neighbors it's going to be soon.

Inspiration

I really hate watching videos with clips from someone's life, even photographs bother me.

I used to be a part of a Livejournal community called ''A day in the life'' where people would take pictures of what they do on a day to day basis, where they went, what they ate etc.
Even though I know that people are going to pick days that are more interesting than their usual days, I always envy them. Their lives seem more interesting, more productive, more brighter, more fun.
When I get into this mood, I always vow that I will make my life more fun, more productive, I'll blog more, I'll study more, I'll waste less time in front of my computer looking at pictures of cats.

I never do, so I've stopped promising myself that, but I still get a little inspired or maybe my fever is messing with my head.

It takes a long time for me to do life-changing things. I usually just wait until one day I randomly start doing it.
I am the laziest person I know. I really am.
I try to get through life, but my concentration is never there, I wondered if I had some late-onset ADD, but I don't want to be a person who takes pills for everything that's wrong. I barely take pain-killers, I'm probably one of those mind-over-matter types.

I need to get more inspired. I need to stop this cycle of procrastination, angst, not wanting to do stuff because so-and-so won't like it.

Maybe my New Years resolution shouldn't be the usual ''Loose weight'' or ''Quit Smoking''

Maybe my New Year's resolution should be to get inspired, love the world, and to do stuff other than sit and do nothing. Maybe I should take a chance and go to weird shows with bands I've never heard of, or go to an art show or just walk around more. Just something - anything, so when the time comes for me to do a 'Day in the life' someone will look at me and think ''Wow, she has an interesting life''

New Years Resolutions

Happy 2012
Ever since I could remember New Years has been my favourite holiday. I love the fireworks, I love the hope that next year would be better, and I can make all these resolutions and totally do all of them but give up after a day.

Most of all, I love the feeling of freedom. I do whatever I want on New Years, I don't have to worry about where I should spend it, like with Christmas, and deciding where to stay, which side of the family to spend it with.. I have full reign and I will spend it whereever.

2012 is going to be an eventful year. I will graduate this year, then I have to make the decision on what I'm going to do after that.
University? Career? Trade school?

I need to make a list of goals for this year, and try to do them. Nothing unrealistic.

Sorry if this is incoherant, I'm tired and distracted.

No sleep

It's a Tuesday.
I'm already completely sleep deprived.

I can't wait for this week to end.
It's all a part of the educational system, see how well our students fare when we throw down all the large assignments and all the exams in the span of two days and see how well they function when completely sleep deprived.

I regret not starting sooner, but there were other things going on. I was getting into a new schedule, I moved, I'm getting used to living in an environment that's not completely my own, and slowly I'm turning into mush with all the stress that follows the end of the semester.

I'm aware that it's happening, but I can't stop it.

It's my birthday tomorrow, I was hoping that if I did enough today I'd be able to meet up with some people at a coffee house and maybe have a beer or two and chat. I miss the mindless social interaction that isn't getting blackout drunk.

I miss a drama-free existence.

But alas, tomorrow has to be spent studying for the 4 tests I have on Thursday, and then the one test on Friday. For some reason all my teachers decided that Thursday is the only day they can have tests.

But at least I have chocolate and almost unlimited coffee.

Wish me luck.

I just update here when I'm procrastinating

So.
Yeah.
I haven't updated in over a year. That's okay? Right?
The status on my projects hasn't changed that much. I got a lot done for 'Z', however it's still first draft-y and honestly, looking at it makes me feel worn down.
I'm wondering where I went wrong. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I didn't plan it. I've always been the type of person who keeps calenders, multiple calenders in fact and tries to be organized*
However when it comes to writing, I might write a rough outline, and then jump straight into it and get to know the characters while I write.
This isn't easy for 'Z', I find the random characters that are in the story for a chapter more interesting than my main character, also I suspect that she's a psychopath because she can shrug off almost anything that happens to her.
''Oh I just saw my Bff get ripped apart by 50 seagulls... Cool, I'm hungry, let's go to McDonalds. Then I'll never talk about her again or show any emotion whatsoever :D''**

So, I need to work on her a bit, I decided to write about random stuff about her, stuff I wouldn't ask a real person, and I'm slowly discovering her and finding her, which is pretty good.

I'm still working on the collection of short stories, mainly writing then re-writing and then throwing it all away and starting again.

I'm hoping to write more soon.





* Who am I kidding, I'm never organized.

**Not actually what happens.

Short Stories

I've decided that while everything else I'm working on is kinda depressing for me since I'm nowhere near completion.
I'm going to do short stories, 1-2 a day. I found a theme list that was used a lot on a forum I frequent for artists. I'm going to adapt it to writing, it's a list of 100 themes, each theme is 1-2 words long.
I did the first one today and came to a horrible realisation.
Most of the short stories I've read recently have been creepy-pastas and it's painfully obvious.
This is something I need to improve.
So on Monday I'm going to the local library and finding some books!
I haven't been to the library for a while and I haven't been that good at reading books recently so it will be a challenge.
Wish me luck.